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“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”

Lovino Vargas, a potty-mouth extraordinaire with a love for all things Italian and a grudge against half the world for no apparent reason. He digs girls and kicks dudes - and that's all there is to this little prick of a man...right? Wrong.

So very, very wrong.

See, considering even Lovino doesn't fully understand Lovino, there's no way anyone else could grasp the mess that is this guy's head that easily. He's a man of contradictions and inconsistencies - and yet somehow everything he does all manages to follow some form of bizarre logic that somehow... does manage to make sense, if you just commit to learning about him. These occurrences are rare however, as most everyone seems to give up on him far before this happens. Lovino understands why - but it doesn't mean he doesn't resent them for it.

Lovino has a short temper and the list of things that annoy him is an infinitely long one, so trying not to get him irritated is a very difficult task. Doubly so because even Lovino himself doesn’t quite know what he wants most of the time, yet he expects you to and will get pissed if you fail your Mind Reading 101. He's moody, and when he isn't being ridiculously stubborn over an idea or an opinion, he's liable to change it at a moment's notice with no foreshadowing whatsoever. He's afraid to commit to most things for long, out of the fear that he might have been clinging onto a lie or held a wrong belief he might be ridiculed for later, and as such conversations with him tend to be difficult.

With that said however, there are certain things Lovino will absolutely not budge on, no matter what. What these things are and how they became so important to the Italian vary, but things such as negative opinions on people or trust, once earned, are not easily stripped away from his being - and neither are tasks he's truly committed to, by the way. If he really has promised to work on something, he might complain on the way, and it might seem like he’s given up on multiple occasions, but he will always come back and try for as many times as it takes. As such, it takes some amazing luck and fortitude to get him to even consider changing his mind on these few things that have managed to burrow themselves deep into his beliefs, and many give up or resort to violence far before they manage to convince him with diplomacy. Because, yes, Lovino Vargas does fear pain, oftentimes morbidly so. Of course he does. Who doesn't?

When dealing with scary situations (which there are plenty of to him), Lovino has three basic strategies. First, run the hell away. Two, in case running doesn’t work, insult the scary thing or person until it gives up and goes after someone else. And, finally, if everything else fails, number three; kiss ass, kiss it good and if possible, roll the blame on someone else. They’d do the same to you if they ever got the chance anyway. Normally Lovino hates change and he hates his pride getting hurt, but fear is the thing that can cause him to do strange things. Fear for a loved one, fear for his life… Sadly enough, fear is one of the only motivators he has, and it’s a powerful one.

As such, he has a saying that goes something like "when things get rough, run the fuck away" and that tactic has yet to fail him even today. Well, sure, his escape might not have always been successful, but you can't tell him it wouldn't be better than straight up combat. Few are the instances when he chooses to stand when he can run, but out of all the things he's ashamed of, being a coward doesn't rank too high on that list. Fear is natural, it's a warning signal to save yourself and if anything, he's a fucking survivor for listening to that basic instinct of getting away from harm.

Of course, if there's a girl around, another basic need of his - namely, the need for being macho - wins over any logic, so expect him to attempt to stand bravely regardless of the warning bells in his head - or at least make his escape in a way that doesn't leave him quite that horrible light. Because see, although Lovino claims that he doesn't really give a damn about what others say, in reality he does. He does a lot. How this manifests depends on whether you're of the fairer sex or not - but the need for recognition is there either way.

No, actually, scratch that; it's not just that part of him that depends on your sex - most of the way he acts towards you does. It's no lie, this guy has a strong preference for female company, and he doesn't try to hide it the slightest. See, being somewhat of a believer in the traditional image of a man and a woman and the values both are associated with, he has a certain want - need, even, to be manly and not be seen as weak. But the truth is... well, he is kind of weak, isn't he? Standing next to men that are bigger, stronger and better than him makes him nervous and feels like a kick to his already low self-esteem, and he constantly finds himself needing to try and prove himself to them as if to earn his place among them. He fears that if he doesn't, it will lead to either bullying or the god-awful, passive aggressive jabs. Girls? Girls don't do that, not in his opinion. They're kinder, more honest and better company - not to mention hell of a lot cuter! And yet, they manage to mess with his head way more than guys ever can, just by being there. A hopeless ladies man, there's little this guy wouldn't do to win a bella's heart. And yeah, to him, all girls are bellas. You included. And the thing is, he loves to let that opinion be known, loves to flirt, not only because it might get him a girl, but because he likes to see girls smile. He likes to see that even he, as pathetic as he considers himself to be, can cheer up someone's day. And yeah, okay, smiles are cute, so guess he's partly in it for himself as well. But then, isn't everyone?

As you've probably come to realize by now, Lovino somewhat believes in gender stereotypes of men needing to be strong - and by extension, even if he has come across some powerful women in his life, he still holds the thought that he needs to protect women, and will get rather embarrassed if the tables are turned and he's the one getting saved (which has happened rather frequently, actually). There are other traditional beliefs that he also holds rather strong, including the importance of family - as much as he tries to deny it. His brother means the world to him, as much as he feels bitter and envious towards the other, and nothing is ever going to change that.

Oh, by the way, Lovino is hard-working. Caught you off guard? Yeah, well, remember when it was mentioned that he doesn't like to give up on tasks he's set his sights on? Yeah? Then it should come to you as no surprise that when this Italian bum actually works, he works. yes, it’s true that more often than not, he can be caught loafing around and sleeping on the job, but to be completely honest with you and let you in on a little secret, he doesn’t avoid work because of laziness. Not really. Not mainly, anyway.

Rather, the root of that problem is the same as it is with many of Lovino's problems; his pathetic self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. He’s been disappointed in his own skills so many times that he fears to even try. He fears to commit and to give something his all, because what if his all is still not enough? That'd serve as ultimate proof of how much of a failure is, both to himself and to others. No, it's better to not do your best - or at least not admit to it - and then, if you do fail, just shrug and say that you could've done better if you wanted. It's much better to be considered lazy than stupid or incompetent. It's better to lie, to hide behind a mask of confidence, because god knows everyone needs confidence. And hey, if you weren't lucky enough to be born with it or earn it from others, what other choice do you have than build a fake one and hope that one day it sticks?

But yes, to rewind a tad, this Italian is indeed hardworking; whenever he gets the motivation and will to work, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone more devoted than him; if he has to stay up all night working, if he has to skip breakfast and lunch and dinner to make sure the work gets done, he will, and he will not think anything of it. And speaking of, since we got on the line of surprises... Lovino's also modest. Well, sort of. Kind of. Sometimes. The other half of the time, he's being cocky.

Okay, so Lovino does like praise. He likes hearing he did well, because that's something extremely rare for him to hear. The more praise, the better, really. But the thing is... even just a simple "you did well" is enough to bring him to high spirits for a while. He could have saved the fucking world, but just hearing a simple "thank you" will make him cough that it was nothing and hide an awkward blush. He's not used to being complimented, so he wants more of it - and at the same time, he doesn't know what to do when it happens. Which... usually means he will downplay his own success or shout at you for not realizing he did well sooner, or try to be cocky about it, but that's all just surface. In general though, he thinks it’s only natural for people to do their best when the work matters to them, no need to gloat about it (even if, when young he was notorious for doing that himself).

Oh, you know what sucks a lot when you're a short, not-really-that-well built Southern European with little to no fighting prowess? Being a prideful prick - and a damn hot-headed one to boot. If you throw him a challenge, he will most likely step up to accept with a cocked head and a few words of exactly why your ass will be handed to you on a silver plate. He'll talk the talk but most of the time he can't really walk the walk. He hates losing and will do his best, but if it seems like he's falling behind, he will bail in some way - especially if the task turns out to be dangerous. To put it simply, the less risk there’s involved in a competition and the bigger the reward or praise, the longer he will stick with it. While the bigger the risk and the smaller the use he gets out of it, the faster he will call it quits. It also depends on who’s challenging him; there are certain types of people he can’t stand losing to, including (but not being limited to) people he hates and cocky people.

And then the part about being short-tempered. Yeah. This guy's cursed with a very short fuse - when dealing with men, anyway. He tends to be a lot calmer when he's dealing with women, and oftentimes when he gets angry near them, it's because of something completely unrelated. In general though, if you're a guy, you only need to fuck up big a few times to land yourself too deep into his hatelist to ever be able to crawl out. Of course, this might not actually be as bad as it sounds. Lovino rarely hurts anyone physically (really, he’s more dangerous when embarrassed than when angry in that department), and although he often plots against those he hates… Well, his plots aren’t exactly scary, and rarely even work. He can come up with multiple ways to get back at people, but most of them are childish, bizarre and sometimes even counterproductive. He does feel the urge to hit the people he hates and make up more malevolent plots at times, but more often than not, his scaredy-cat personality prevents him from carrying out any of that out of fear of revenge. Still, those he hates better prepare to at least be insulted more times than they can count a day, and any cooperation from Lovino is out of the question.

But yeah, don’t worry too much if you fall into the category of “people Lovino hates” – most everyone is already there. It's more the default than the exception, as Lovino's extremely quick to jump to conclusions about people and to see their bad sides. First impressions last incredibly long and are difficult to change, particularly so if they're bad ones, and even if you manage to come across as proper, he will probably be suspicious of you anyway. That's just how he is; a pessimist to the extreme, he generally assumes everyone is an asshole that may or may not be out to get him until proven otherwise.

Because, see, when talking about Lovino, the word "mean" is likely to pop up very soon, and for a reason; this guy's a douche but really, even that's mostly just because he's such a damn coward. He thinks it’s safer to hate on everything and be mean by default, as it saves him from having to try and be nice to someone who’d just end up being an asshole anyway. That, and the low self-esteem once again plays a part; Lovino doesn’t dare let people close because he fears they’re gonna leave him anyway as has happened multiple times in the past. He thinks people will just end up hating him anyway, so why bother being nice to them? It's not gonna change shit, just make him look stupid. He’s much better of just being a jerk to begin with it. So, basically, being mean is a defense mechanism to protect him from getting hurt, from placing his trust on the wrong people and getting abandoned or disappointed in the end. Yet, even after he realizes the other’s intentions are good, he often finds himself unable to change his behavior regardless; it’s scary to be friendly to someone. It’s scary to show them your real feelings. He feels much more comfortable being a jerk, even if he sometimes does feel guilty because of it.

If, by this point, you think that Lovino must be incredibly difficult to make friends with, you're absolutely right. Distrustful of everyone he meets by default and not exactly pleasant to talk to, especially if you're a dude, Lovino doesn't sound like an ideal guy to keep around for parties - and he will tell you he doesn't give two shits. Does he? Of course he does. Kinda. Like most things with him, it's complicated.

When Lovino does find someone he considers important enough to be close with, what was previously immense mistrust will turn into the fiercest loyalty you've ever witnessed, in both the good and the bad. Lovino is, at his best, faithful and protective; although usually a scaredy-cat, he can display surprising amount of courage when defending those he cares about. And how could he not? Someone in this world decided he was worth their affection - that alone's enough to leave him very thankful and mildly surprised. See, he does know that he's difficult and a mess, and he sure as hell wouldn't want to befriend himself if he were in your shoes. So for you to do it anyway... damn, you have to be some kind of an idiot. And if you're that stupid, you need to be protected from the world and those who'd use your idiocy against you, right? So he's just returning a favor. Shut up.

Even then, he sure as hell isn't going to flat out admit that he likes you and is touched by your attention, hell no to that. He will not stop his insults either even if he might cut down on their amount and severity sometimes. He doesn't wanna seem weak and wobbly. Rather, the way he shows gratitude is through the only medium that doesn't allow room for lies; through action. Actions speak louder and more true than words usually, and in this guy's case, this is especially true. If you want a chance of figuring out what he really means, watching rather than listening is the way to go. His words make you none the wiser.

Why? Because Lovino is extremely dishonest about his feelings both to others and to himself, and even when he doesn't exactly mean to lie, most of the time he has no idea what he's really feeling or wanting anyway. So when he tells you to go away, he might mean it - or he might want you to stay and not leave him alone ever, and it might even be that he doesn't know which one's true. Even if he did, though, he wouldn't tell it to you. He doesn't really want to lie - but it's necessary, because being honest and open about what you think and feel is potentially the scariest thing out there. What if he tells you to stay and you laugh and leave anyway? That'd hurt like shit. No, better to just tell you off and convince himself that he hated you anyway.

As is clear, this makes associating with him difficult to the say the least. You can’t exactly go act directly against his apparent will and go hug him when he tells you to scram, now can you? All of that's also one of the things that lead to him getting pissed. What, you think he's happy that he can't make up his mind on simple things in life? Yeah, no, he's just as frustrated with his mess of emotions as you are, trust me.

And this is precisely why you should track his actions and to an extent - expressions and not always his words. The truth lies in little clues and signals, patterns in his behavior; the words he uses and stresses, the direction of his gaze and the behavior of his curl and so on. They might prove at least a little helpful in solving what’s really going on in his head, and you'll be sure to need it. Because, see, as mentioned, despite not knowing what he wants himself, Lovino expects everyone else to know and act accordingly. He will get mighty pissed if you leave when he wants you to stay, even if he just told you to go to hell. It’s all your fault for being stupid and not realizing it.

But we got a little off-track there, huh? We were supposed to discuss the positives and negatives of him growing attached to someone. So the positive's being loyal and a bit less of an ass. The negative one is... well. Once he’s managed to find people he holds dear, he kinda wants to make sure nothing takes them away from him, which lead to him being jealous and even slightly possessive. His lack of self-confidence makes him constantly fear that someone better than him’s going to waltz in and steal everyone from him, and so he’s very wary of any other friends the people important to him have. He isn’t hostile towards them (most of the time), but he’s bound to be even meaner to them than to others and get angry whenever he hears his friend is meeting with the person. He also hates hearing his friends and people close to him compliment others. Why can’t they compliment him? What, because he never returns the compliments? ... Nah.

Lastly, it should be mentioned that Lovino has a sort of a soft spot for people that remind him of himself. That is to say, if he sees someone suffering from the same problems he does (and actually admits it and doesn’t try to deny everything), he will start to feel a certain sense of kinship. He might help someone out if they’re dealing with the same kind of bullies he has, for example, though even then you better not expect him to be nice to you about it.

+ Girls || Though most of those who have seen him find it hard to believe, Lovino can actually be quite the charmer around girls. He’s not an expert by any means (even if he'd like to think so), but he knows how to hold open a door and say some nice things every now and then. He especially likes to cook for women, and loves it when he gets complimented by one. He feels like he can be more open and himself when away from other males. Plus, girls are nice to look at. Make no mistake though, being more open doesn’t mean Lovino wouldn’t ever get awkward or shy around women, oh no. He doesn’t mind kissing their hand or cheek, but getting hugged or smooched by a girl out of the blue is still a bit embarrassing to him. He just won’t scream and yell as much, as the chances are he doesn't mind it.

+ Tomatoes! || One of Lovino’s absolute favorite foods are these babies, and it shows; most of the food he cooks contains them in some form. He's love for them doesn’t mean he likes to be compared to them though, so don’t do that. It’s creepy.

+ Alone time || Sometimes Lovino just wants to be left the hell alone. He feels like he has to be too much on edge whenever someone’s around, so he can only relax and have a proper siesta when he’s completely by himself and surrounded by nothing but silence. So, not allowing him his me-time is a surefire way to get him stressed out and even meaner than usual.

+ Anything Italian || Very much a patriot, Lovino is proud of his home country and will not stand anyone insulting it. Or its food. Especially not its food.

+ Siesta || It’s no lie, Lovino loves his legal naptimes. He usually feels guilty whenever he knows there’s work to be done and he hasn’t even started (and most likely won’t start at all) doing it, but during the siesta all that guilt goes away. Then his only job is to relax, and he often uses this time to gather his thoughts and go through the events of the day – provided he doesn’t fall asleep first.

+ Compliments || They say that a job well done is a reward in and out of itself, and most of the time, Lovino agrees. But, see, since he sucks at understanding others’ feelings just as much – if not more – than his own, if you don’t say you’re pleased with something he’s done, he’s going to assume you aren’t. So compliment him where it’s due, even if he says he doesn't need it, it gets you a long way and ups his self-esteem quite a bit.

+ Winning || Lovino rarely experiences the feeling of victory, so whenever he does he feels thrilled. Any opportunity to boost his low self-esteem is very welcome to the Italian, and he especially loves winning against people he hates. It proves to both himself and others that he can actually achieve things on his own.

+ Affection || Lovino likes to be liked, to put things simply. Even if overly attached people annoy him and gentle gestures are often met with snark, he’s very happy knowing someone accepts him for who he is, faults and all. Now if only people knew how to show that affection in a way that doesn’t make him cringe…

+ Soccer || He has played as a hobby in the past, and is often following games on TV. He roots for his home country’s team each time, and, well... you might not want to be around him during those times. He gets quite passionate about it. He knows he could never hope to play professionally or get famous for anything else, for that matter, so he's living through his country's team, instead.

+ His brother || Even though you’ll never hear him say it, his brother is the most important person in his life. While he often finds himself annoyed by the other's antics, and while he has a deep-rooted jealousy towards him, he loves the idiot dearly. Not quite enough to stick around and fight for him with his life, but as close to that as he can get!

+ Warmth/ The sun || Lovino can’t handle the cold all that well, and doesn’t like to go outside when it’s rainy or cloudy. He loves to sunbathe, and one of his favorite ways to pass time is to find a sunny spot and just take a nap, preferably with a bowl of fresh tomatoes somewhere at hand for when he gets hungry. Of course, being alone is also a must; he refuses to share this particular experience with anyone, ever.

+ Beaches || Lovino loves to relax on a beach especially during the summer. He hates tourists beaches though, and isn’t comfortable with swimming and sunbathing if the whole area’s full of people. He also kinda dislikes sand, but eh, what can you do.

- People touching his curl || Lovino hates people touching him in general, so it goes without saying he’d want people to stay away from an erogenous zone. Partly for… obvious reasons, partly because he knows it’s his weak spot, and feels even more vulnerable than usual when it's touched.

- Perverts || “Hate mixed with extreme doses of terror” is a far more accurate a description of his feelings towards them, but yes, Lovino hates perverts. He always feels threatened and vulnerable in their presence, and in case they know about his curl, he feels naked as well. He’s not beyond physically hurting lechers who get too close for comfort, though more often than not he’ll flight rather than fight. He’s also always cautious if he sees someone getting physically close with those he holds dear or with females, and is bound to try and go intervene even when it's not warranted.

- Being touched || Despite the usual customs in his homecountry, Lovino really dislikes people getting their hands on him without a warning. Greetings and the like are okay, but anything else is going too far and making him uncomfortable. That is, unless he knows you. If you happen to be someone he feels any kind of affection towards, he actually doesn’t mind hugs or pats on the back or what have you – though he will still say he does. So, really, it’s difficult. It’s not hard to discern when he’s just saying “no” to save face and when he’s genuinely bothered though, as anyone with the ability to listen can hear when he’s seriously panicking and when he’s just talking shit.

- The Mafia || Although he’s not a fan of any criminal group or lawless individual, the Sicilian mafia is the most intimidating to him. Having been involved with them when young, the Italian both fears them and dislikes them. They affected his world-view and it’s partly due to them that he’s a good pickpocket, even if he doesn’t practice it often nowadays. He refuses to talk about any of that though.

- Foreign/bad food || Lovino is very particular about the food he eats, and refuses to touch anything that looks, smells or tastes bad. He loves the food he himself makes and is very proud of his country’s cuisine, so it’s not easy to convince him to try anything foreign or made by people he doesn’t like. Admitting other countries’ cuisine is good is like saying Italian food isn’t the most amazing thing out there to him, and so he gives compliments very scarcely.

- Being teased || He hates it when people tease him about things, be it his tendency to blush, his shortness or his curl. And he. Is. Not. Cute. To him there’s no line between teasing and bullying, and he absolutely hates to be embarrassed, no matter who’s caused it and how. He might be slightly more tolerant of this if he’s alone with the person, but humiliating him in public is one of the fastest ways to end up in his most hated list. Oh, girls can call him cute. Sometimes.

- Having to fight || Lovino… really isn’t good at fighting. He can somehow aim and hold a gun, and he knows which end to grab onto when it comes to knives, and he’s one of the fastest people when it comes to escaping speed you’ll meet, but that’s pretty much it. He’s weak and cowardly, and much prefers jobs where he doesn’t have to actually face off against the bad guys. Yet, he’s ambitious enough not to settle with finding missing animals and doing paperwork. Really, his job would be much easier if it weren’t for his personality.

- Having to rely on someone || Lovino doesn’t like to put his trust on anyone. Sure, you will hear him call for help if the situation seems absolutely hopeless because damn it, he doesn’t want to die, and you can often spot him complaining and trying to get others do his bidding for him, but most of those tasks are menial. He doesn’t mind making someone else clean his desk or do his paperwork for him, but having to ask someone to help him with something that’s actually important to him (like cooking or completing a mission) always hits him hard.

- Being compared to others || Especially to his brother or the more higher ranked or more accomplished police officers (like his grandpa). Being compared to Feliciano is the absolute worst though, as it is one of his most deep-rooted fears and dislikes, so even playful “they look alike” mentions can cause him to at the very least flinch. Refrain from saying that if at all possible.

- Noisy people || People should just mind their own damn business, period. Lovino doesn’t like it when people try to get inside his head (even if that might help him a great deal at times), or when others inject themselves into his life without his permission. Of course, since this is Lovino we’re talking about, things aren’t always that simple. Sometimes, if he likes you enough, he very much wants you to come visit him out of the blue, get curious about him and his hobbies and the like. Yes, even when he's cussing you out whenever you try to contact him. Like everything with him, it’s complicated, basically.

- Menial Jobs || He’s a damn police officer, not a knacker, and his job is not to find missing cats and hamsters, but to fight crime. Not that… crime fighting sounds all that alluring to him either; it seems dangerous. ...Why did he join the force again?

¤ To gain recognition || Lovino is - sort of - ambitious, no matter how misplaced it might seem, and dreams of achieving something big in his lifetime. He knows it's not likely to happen, but he wants people to notice him and get praise, recognition and maybe even a few lady fans. And definitely, definitely a raise and a promotion, because goddamnit his current tasks suck. Don't ask him what he's doing for his doing to actively fulfill this dream though; he likely won't be able to answer

¤ To stay alive || Not exactly a dream, but a wish or a want regardless. Now, no doubt most people aren't exactly looking forward to dying, but considering Lovino's occupation and past with the mafia, he feels like he's walking on thin ice as far staying alive goes, and he can't help but feel a little paranoid every time he walks alone at night and hears the shadows move behind him.

¤ To get rich || Money is nice. A lot of money is really nice -- or at least, Lovino assumes as much; while his family wasn't poor, they weren't exactly living on the lap of luxury either, and like many kids from lower income families, Lovino wishes to get a taste of the 'better life'. A thick wallet, a huge house and money to spend partying all sounds very much up his alley. Too bad with his current salary and spending habits, getting out of his small flat doesn't seem very probably anytime soon. But hey, that's why they're called dreams, right?

* Cats || This might come as a surprise, but yes. To him, cats are scary, scary creatures who often get their paws all over his curl when they see it, thinking it’s a playtoy. Don’t get Lovino wrong, he does think the creatures are cute, but he’s just experienced one assault too many by them to really crave for their company ever again.

* Being left alone/abandoned || Yes, this is still the same “leave me alone, damn it!” Lovino we all know and love (to varying degrees). It’s true he does want his me-moments and isn’t one to enjoy constant company or big crowds, but that doesn’t mean he’d like loneliness. He likes being alone as long as he knows that if he ever wanted to, he’d have someone he could go to, but being left completely on his own terrifies him. In that vein he’s also afraid of rejection. He knows he’s not the best material for a friend with his weakness, big mouth, messy, illogical lines of thoughts and cowardice, and so he’s afraid people will eventually grow tired of him and drop him for someone better and shinier.

* Being hurt || Lovino doesn’t have the most amazing pain threshold out there, and he hates to be injured, especially in the hands of another human being. He’d rather fall down stairs and break his leg than get a punch on his chest, even if the latter would cause less damage. It’s a pride thing. Plus, people are a lot scarier than any accidents or animals.

* Being physically bound || Be it getting stuck somewhere or being tied up, Lovino hates not being able to go around as he pleases. It’s not so much a freedom thing than it is a simple case of “tied up = can’t escape = can be hurt now” mentality, but all the same he’s afraid.

Lovino was born as the older of two twin boys to an Italian family. Their parents weren't the richest people around, but they always did manage to provide their boys with what was necessary, and rare were the times when they had to live in hunger. Lovino's childhood was pretty normal, be that he always had a bit of a temper and that he was prone to both clumsiness and bed-wetting until a fairly old age. He was grumpy and difficult, with some major trouble expressing himself in a way that wasn't mean or in-your-face, which oftentimes left him playing alone on the playground while his brother made friends with the other kids around. He was often met with “why can’t you be like your brother?” since, sure, his younger brother was weak and useless like him, but at least he smiled and was friendly. Lovino didn’t even have that as a redeeming quality, and the more he got scolded, the less he smiled and the more difficult, snappier he got. It was a vicious circle all throughout his childhood.

School wasn’t exactly fun times for Lovino either, as one can probably guess. His grades sucked no matter how hard he tried, his feistiness got him into a lot of trouble and involved in fights, and like many kids his age, he was bullied. He distanced him from people even further after that, which led to him spending a lot of time outside during the day, sometimes even when he was supposed to be in school. Home wasn't exactly pleasant for him either, as he always felt like his parents were disappointed in him and he couldn't bear it. His parents were good, hard-working people. Wasn't their fault their oldest son was a loser. And Lovino did want to make them proud, but he was afraid to try and find out he just plain didn’t have the brains to succeed. So instead of studying or doing something about it, he fled, avoided the problem and spent minimal time at home.

Instead, Lovino spent his time on the streets. He wandered around, his feet and eyes knowing every inch of the small, poor village they lived in, yet every day he tried to find a new place to explore. This is how he ended up passing a few of the local gangs, the "cool crowds" and what have you. Social groups where he could actually see himself in - and boy, did he try to get in hard. He tried smoking and he tried drinking, and found out neither was his thing; but he continued because that's what the people around him did, even if he couldn’t stand the smell of tobacco and couldn’t hold his liquor at all.

He did, however, find out he had a knack for something else entirely, something that eventually lead to him having a bit of a reputation among his chosen crowd of rebels and hooligans; pick pocketing. He was almost an artist the way his fingers slid to claim wallet after wallet without his victims being none the wiser as to what had happened. He was plain and short - but that all worked out in his favor. He was never strong but he was athletic. He was like a rat, able to survive and steal with extreme ease. And so, what had started out as a dare ended up an everyday thing. A hobby and a job, if you will.

Until, one day, it led him to stealing from the wrong side of law; namely, from one of the members of one of the mafia families around.

Lovino did have a spout of unprecedented luck on his side, though. The member he stole from was a pretty laid-back guy compared to his peers, and was more amused by the young thief and the horror on his face than anything. He took a liking to Lovino even, and asked if he’d like to earn a little extra cash.

“Of course” he did. Lovino knew you didn’t turn down an offer from a dangerous criminal and expect to see the light of day again. And so, he ended up a pickpocket and a small time drug dealer, doing small crimes for the mafia and following the guy he'd stolen from around to some of his meetings, nervous and shaking like a leaf in a storm. He never met any of the Mafia leaders, or even higher ups - thank god - but the people he did see and the discussions he heard were enough to give him nightmares at night.
Whether it was from necessity or not, Lovino also started to slowly adapt some of the criminals’ world view; the world was a bad, bad place in which you could trust nobody. Nobody wanted you, and people were friendly to each other only because it benefited them. It made sense to Loivno, coincided with his own experiences and even if it hadn’t, he would have forced himself to believe it regardless. He wanted to belong, and there definitely wasn’t a cooler crew than the one he was in now, right?

Well, that’s what he thought up until he saw them kill a person. Kill a person, right in front of him, just like that. That changed the Italian's mind pretty quick, and made him want to get the hell away. He started meeting the members less and doing less and less tasks, but he was too afraid to flat out tell them he’d quit. You didn’t quit the mafia, no matter how small time you were. Luckily for him, the family he was involved with wasn’t exactly large, and ended up slowly dissolved due to all the wars between the local families. Still, every day of his life Lovino spent glancing out the windows and glaring at the phone, fearful that someone would come to his door and kill him one day, either for running away or being involved with the family in the first place. And what if they didn't only kill him, but his entire family as well? Wasn't that how they operated?

Lovino was just about to (barely) graduate high school at the time, and his parents, not aware of the extent their boy had gotten himself involved in the underground, were worried that he’d never get a job with his current grades. Lovino himself really wished his biggest problem could have been just the damn grades, but as things were, he really couldn’t concentrate on school. And really, if it weren’t for the twins’ grandfather, he probably would have ended up running away from home, both out of shame and out of genuine concern for his parents should someone come after his life.

So, although said grandfather had often spent most of his time with Lovino's younger brother and thus not really grown all that close to the boy himself, Lovino figured it'd be best to go with him. Part of it was because he wanted to see if he could finally receive the man's approval, to finally get attention all to himself, but the main reason was, well... Romulus lived in London, far away from the threat of the mafia.

And then he found out he worked as a police chief, wanting to offer him a job under him.


In the beginning, Lovino protested. He protested like hell, because being put from one dangerous situation to another sounded nothing like his dream job, but in the end he ended up accepting. Because, well, really, what choice did he have? It was either that or remaining home and putting everyone he loved at risk. He doubted the mafia considered him big enough a threat to come hunt him down from a foreign country, or that they could connect him to his family that easily when he'd never given them more than a faked first name. That, and he was a tad bit happy his grandpa trusted him enough to give him a job in the first place. Now if he could just get more meaningful tasks...

Also, the weather in England? Sucks ass.

There were many ways Romano expected Francis to react to his little outburst, but he had to admit that him bursting into tears was definitely not one of them. Caught so off-guard he almost jumped back in surprise, the Italian couldn’t but just stare at the other now, wide-eyed and extremely confused over his reaction. He had always known Francis to be someone who reacted strongly to pretty much everything under the sun, and he was aware the guy did have a history of being overly dramatic, but…

“Seriously?” Romano gasped out loud in disbelief before he could help himself. Those had to be crocodile tears. The ‘wahh why are you so mean now you have to let me touch you inappropriately’ kind to extract sympathy and get his way. Try as the Italian might, he could not find any other explanation, and he half-expected the manipulative bastard to launch into a high-pitched rant at him any second now.

The rant never came.

But that wasn’t to say Francis remained quiet. After what seemed to be a struggle to regain his composure enough to manage uttering out at least something, the French man looked at him with what seemed to almost be… gratitude?

It couldn’t be. Nobody ever looked at him with-

“T…Thank you,” Francis sobbed with much difficulty just then, and Romano couldn’t but believe he had heard him wrong. He never got thanks for anything. He never did anything well enough to warrant thanks, even when he really, truly tried to do his best. So why would that creep thank him for… for insulting him? It made no sense, and Romano honestly had no idea how to react or what to think. Similarly to how he had never been good at replying to compliments, he had never had the ability to react to being thanked. He was used to being yelled at, being cussed out in return and threatened, but this? This was new. Scary.

And oddly enough, sort of nice.

Romano shook his head. No, he told himself with a determined growl, he’s just playing mind games with you. Don’t fall for them. Be witty. Insult him or… something.

And he tried. He truly did, but his brain could not put together a coherent sentence, let alone pick apart the French guy’s persona for things to insult. And, before he could get the chance to even try, the guy had opened his big mouth again to let out even more surprises.

“I promise to be the best partner to my ability. I will not let you down, Romano!”

Romano froze at those words. They were unlike anything his previous partners had ever uttered. They didn’t carry with them the usual condescending tone his heroes always regarded their new sidekicks with. They weren’t the words of a superior talking down to his lackey. He wasn’t announcing his intentions and expecting the Italian to follow, he was making a promise.

Tch. Like those’d ever last.

Romano looked away, hands in his pockets and gaze cast low. Should he believe that promise? Why should he? How was it different from all the previous ones he had been given? Why would this last when none of the earlier ones did? He wasn’t ready, not prepared to accept the man’s promise and the hope it brought. He wasn’t prepared to be let down again this soon. Not again.

Slowly, the Italian’s confusion and awkwardness started to shift back to irritation, partly because of the memories now filling his mind, partly because the guy just. Kept. Sobbing. It didn’t take a long while for Romano to revert back to his usual self, arms crossed and all as he turned to look back at his partner once more. God, all that sobbing was annoying. It was like watching a big baby. He knew this whole partner deal could only spell trouble, what if someone saw them together? His reputation would be ruined. He had to do something.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re a freaking loony,” Romano rushed to say, glancing around and trying to glare away anyone who had stopped to stare. “I get it, just… stop the damn crying already, you look goddamn pathetic. People are staring. You ruin my reputation, and I will call this whole partner thing off this second, got it?!”

Romano really hoped he did, because he could already hear the whispers of a few close by girls, apparently assuming they were an arguing couple.

Holy shit this year was going to suck.