Monkey's Paw

[Deleted]

A box delivered to your door contains a curious relic.

The paw of a primate, fingers outstretched. A card sits under it, and it reads.

"Wish on me."

"I will grant miracles."

"I will grant riches."

"I will grant fame."

"I will grant love."

"But be aware, that in order to have, one must be prepared to give."

"What you are given, I have taken."

---
Make a wish upon the paw, but be warned. The poster that comes after you will control your destiny.

This can be IC or OOC-- who will it be?

---

I wish my microwave would stop burning my popcorn. ;w;

[Vash Alois Zwingli]

Your microwave burns your house.

I wish the stock market would be in my favor.

[Misso Pan]

Granted-- unfortunately the Paw is stuck in medieval times, and it interpreted stocks as a prison. Well, on the bright side every enemy you've ever made is now locked up.

I wish the coding for my posts would work.

[Asunara Wisdom]

Granted, but then Proboards switches to v6 the next day.

I wish I would stop making typos.

[Joselle]

Granted but everyone else starts making typos.

I wish I can booty pop someone to the moon if I get mad at them.

[Deleted]

Granted, but then that kills them. People die when they are killed. You're labeled a murderer and no one likes you anymore.

I wish that I had a sushi chef in my house.

[Deleted]

Granted. He's a serial killer and makes sushi out of you.

I wish MY FEET DIDN'T HURT SO MUCH AKHSKJFDS!!

[Vash Alois Zwingli]

Granted, they most certainly don't hurt anymore because you got them amputated.

I wish that I had a Hitler tea pot.

[Misso Pan]

Granted. The teapot constantly recites Hitler's speeches.

I wish I could type super fast so all of my posts would get done in minutes.

[Missy]

Granted, but you can't stop typing and eventually die at the keyboards from fatigue and starvation.

I wish I can have a normal sleeping pattern.

[Deleted]

Granted, but now everyone else is an insomniac and it's weird for you to have a normal sleeping pattern now.

I wish I wasn't so lazy and actually replied to my threads.

[Missy]

Granted, but no one ever replies back. Because they're all dead. You've murdered them by granting them no sleep, remember? You murderer.

I WISH SENPAI WOULD NOTICE ME.

[Deleted]

Granted. Then Senpai turns out to be yandere and you end up dead.

I wish I wasn't bored all the time.

[Westley Walters-Kirkland]

Granted. But oh dear you now flounder with far too many things to choose from!

I wish I could make my fan work.