IC FML

[Deleted]

Welp it's yet another of my brilliant ideas okay. I'll edit if I think of something clever.



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Today I found out my brother is a wanted international mafioso. FML.

Just realized I fell in love with the PM I was supposed to blow up. FML.

[Deleted]

Accidentally fell in love with my biological half-sister after having sex with her. FML.
Accidentally had sexual intercourse with nearly all of my current love interest's siblings. FML.
Accidentally forgot I was engaged and had a bunch of one night stands and dated other people before I remembered. FML.
Accidentally punched a guy in the crotch after spilling soup all over it. FML.
Accidentally let myself feel human again after being trained as a killing machine for fourteen years. FML.

[Misso Pan]

I somehow set the flower shop on fire. FML.

[Vash Alois Zwingli]

My sister is in love with my annoying coworker. FML.
My siblings have forgotten about me. FML.
I ran out of lasagna. FML.
My younger sister that I have cared for for so long hates my guts and has become a stripper, even if I created a lovely family structure with my mafia. FML.
I forgot to pay back Arthur. FML.

[Deleted]

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

[Deleted]

Just found out that my crazy step-brother who I'm pretty sure has legit mental issues is on the faculty where I teach and is possibly creeping on me more than when we were younger. FML.

[Deleted]

The girl I like is apparently a lesbian. FML.

My cake exploded in my cousin's oven. He's furious. FML.

My ex-fiancee is in London and every time I see her I'm reminded of how much my family sucks. FML.

[Missy]

I fell in love. FML-- no, actually. This isn't my fault. IAIN LACHLANN STUART-KIRKLAND, THIS IS ALL YOUR[/b] FAULT. FYL.

I told the MI6 to call me in only when London burns. I jinxed it. FML.

I'm still short. And I have no boobs. And I'm still not legal. FML.

I might have accidentally downloaded a virus onto the government main systems... This is what they get for not using Mac. FML. (When they find out sshh.)

[Deleted]

Someone forced me to join his mafia network. FML

I fall in love with my boss who happens to be a heartless psychopath. FML

My father doesn't know I'm exist. FML