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“This is a Sydney Funnel Web spider. It has some of the world’s most deadly venom that can kill you in fifteen minutes flat. Prey normally consists of insects, frogs and small children. Isn’t she beaut!”

In general Kyle is pretty easy to get along with. When he meets new people his first inclination is to want to like them, and if you want to like somebody chances are you will. Striking up a conversation with his patients (and their owners) is a regular occurrence; same goes for just about anyone he bumps into. His manners aren’t elegant (don’t expect him to know how to eat a lobster), but they are inviting and ready to make you feel welcome.

Friendliness aside, Kyle is an eccentric and completely unaware of it. His most noticeable oddity his fondness for animals, particularly dangerous ones. He approaches these deadly critters the same way he approaches humans, determined to like them. Another quirk of his is that he’ll always have a few of his pets with him at all times “What do you mean you’ve never taken a crocodile for a walk mate?” And let’s not get started on the inside of his apartment.

The one this that Kyle could be accused of taking too seriously is sport. Sport is like a religion to him, if a team he supports looses a match he could very well sulk about it for hours, days if lost money is involved. And just like any religious holidays, big sporting events (like the Melbourne Cup) include a day off work, no exceptions.

Another trait that distinguishes Kyle is his habit of downplaying catastrophes; he could be accused of having a warped sense of humour except he does it unintentionally. In this way a bout of influenza becomes “feeling a bit crook” and a monsoon becomes “a shower”. If he ever calls you saying he’s fallen over and needs some bandaids, it is perfectly reasonable to assume he tried to bungie jump off a roof and ring up an ambulance. He honestly can’t explain why he does this, except perhaps that he doesn’t want things blown out of proportion, so he does the opposite. He is also an optimist, genuinely believing that it most cases "It'll be alright" and when it isn't well "Such is life". It takes a lot of work to be an optimist, but Kyle's an expert 

Kyle is not a romantic, but no one would ever say that his partners feel unloved. Those that he loves are cherished and he is a devoted partner, it’s just that his methods of courtship are somewhat unconventional. A first date is much more likely to be at a zoo than at the movies, and if he does serenade you it’ll probably be to the accompaniment of a didgeridoo, not a guitar. It saddens him when people don’t get his message just because he delivered it in a slightly different format.

Like all Kirkland’s Kyle has a good healthy dose of determination/borderline stubbornness. This is reflected most in his work with animals, the more difficult they are the happier he it. This sometimes backfires when a patient of his simply can’t be treated. He’ll work himself to exhaustion and when that doesn’t help then he’ll get up and work some more. His grief when a patient of his dies is genuine, touching and in some cases greater than the patient’s owners themselves.

Living In large cities (London especially) frequently makes Kyle conflicted when he notices the differences between his life in the city and his life in the outback where he grew up. At home people were laid back, cheerful, they didn’t worry about tomorrow. At work people are driven, they have ambitions for the future and in the process they often miss opportunities to enjoy the present. On the flipside people at home didn’t seem to have dreams. Anyone who was different was alienated; anyone who did things deemed “unacceptable” was banished to the fringes of the township. In the city he can be an individual, but he also feels lost. At home he knew his place, but at times it felt like he was being suffocated. It’s been like that ever since he left home for school, but now that he’s living in chic fast paced streets of London the feeling of being a child of two worlds has skyrocketed.

Rock Music: Kyle is a classic rocker. At one point is his adolescence he sported a mullet which (like most mullet wearers) he absolutely failed to pull off. His favourite bands include ACDC, Icehouse and The Wiggles.

Beer: He’s a social drinker and enjoys the great variety of pubs and ales London has to offer. Fortunately for his waistline, drinking is restricted to when he has time for it, which is not very often.

Animals: Kyle doesn’t like animals; he loves them, loves working with them, loves helping them. Some might doubt that his “zoo espionage” ideas will work, but there’s no doubting his enthusiasm.

Vegemite: Preferably on a sandwich with cheese, but he has been known to eat it straight out of the jar on occasion. Since moving to London he’s gone through some serious withdrawal.

Swimming: Although there are several sports that he enjoys swimming would have to be his favourite. And it’s not just lap swimming that he likes, it also includes days out by the pool. As long as he’s in the water he’s content.

Fires: Growing up in Aus means you will probably be acquainted with bushfires in some way. For Kyle it was in the clinic, trying to look after countless animals that had been dehydrated, burned, orphaned and killed in the flames.
Loosing in sports: Kyle is a sore loser, and it may not even be when he loses. If his team or his country fails to win a match he’s probably going to take it personally.
Whaling: Kyle loathes whaling. When he was at Uni he participated in a number of Sea Shepherd missions and even if he doesn’t do that sort of stuff anymore he still loudly condones the practice as vicious and barbaric.
Cane Toads: It may seem strange that the animal-guru detests this species of amphibian. It is even weirder when he sounds his battle cry “Toad away!” and starts attacking them with a cricket bat.
Spinach: Kyle was the kid who refused to eat his greens, and even now in adulthood spinach is still a no-no. If by any chance he does get served some they are left on the plate or quietly deposited in a pot plant.

To establish Zoo Espionage: Animals were once a vital part of undercover work. Kyle reckons that could be again and is currently training several potentials to track targets, wear listening devices, steal documents etc.

Get to know his family: Kyle knew he was a Kirkland and he knew that he had cousins thanks to family Christmas cards. But honestly he doesn’t know that much about them and would like to get to know them better.

Find a Wild Haggis: Once when he was a kid Kyle got friendly with a Scot and in exchange for info on the notoriously deadly “drop bear” the Scot told him about the “wild haggis” of his home land. Ironically Kyle totally brought it and would love to find one.

Fire: Not little things like cigarettes or candles (unless you happen to drop one) but the big ones that can destroy homes and lives. His first instinct when confronting fire is to locate all the wildlife that was hurt, the second is to locate the bugger that started it.

Things blown out of proportion: In Kyle’s opinion things are much more likely to go disastrously wrong when they are taken to extremes. Therefore he habitually goes out of his way to do the opposite.

Losing his roots: He’s finding more and more that in order to impress people he needs to gloss over his background. While he wants to be go ahead with his career, at the same time he doesn’t want to forget his past, his “Dreaming” you might say.

Kyle’s childhood was happy, if a little unconventional. Born in Sydney, he grew up in a tiny Aboriginal township near Alice Springs where his mother worked as a rural nurse. He spent his days running about with the local mob of kids, catching lizards, hunting for bunyips and swimming in the local waterhole. He knew he had a father because his mother had told him so, and he knew he had extended family because they received occasional letters from them. Overtime he learnt that among other things, he’d inherited his father’s bushy brows, green eyes and his surname.

In very remote communities like Kyle’s secondary education is usually achieved in one of three ways. A) They might be homeschooled (which is rare but not unheard of). B) They might attend school online as “off campus” pupils. Or C) They might attend a city school that has boarding facilities. Kyle chose the final option and wound up in a government boarding school in Brisbane. At first he found moving away from his home daunting but he gradually grew to love it. His new friends taught him how to surf and the school conducted excursions to places like the Daintree Rainforest, The Great Barrier Reef and Australia Zoo. It was during this time that Kyle’s lifelong interest in animals really blossomed. He became involved in wildlife conservation and began collecting interesting critters that he found. The school authorities would frequently clear them out of his room but Kyle always found more.

There wasn’t any question as to what sort of career he was going to pursue “I want to work with animals.”At the end of a long two year slog Kyle managed to get accepted into Melbourne University’s veterinary science course. After graduating high school he and his mates spent a month partying it out Indonesia with countless other Aussie backpackers. He can’t remember any of it so he assumes that he had a good time. At Uni he grew his hair long, learnt how to play a didgeridoo and became involved in animal activism. The latter occasionally required specialist skills beyond the abilities of most veterinarians, specifically the ability to handle and treat animals that were both very dangerous and valuable. Kyle therefore applied for a worldwide course that would give him a licence to work with any animal on the planet. The course was difficult, occasionally dangerous and Kyle passed with flying colours. Dangerous animals are his speciality.

After he graduated, why he was still looking for a job, MI6 contacted him. They needed someone to look after the numerous and varied wildlife that frequently came their way. Crime lords frequently own tigers, piranhas etc and it's amazing what people will try to smuggle through security. The job came with a house and a substantial pay-check. Kyle moved to London the very next week. Not long after he started he met his cousin/brother Wes purely by chance at the zoo. Wes was sickly at best and downright terrible at looking after himself. So Kyle offered to let him stay with him in order to keep an eye the kid. Their ability to get on with each other fluctuates on an hourly basis.

Meanwhile back down under Kyle's mum had married again and in this fashion acquired a stepdaughter. Charlie, was an artistic soul who really needed more scope for her abilities than what the outback can give her. Going back to Sydney to live with her mum was out of the question as the woman had less than satisfactory parenting abilities. So it was arranged that Charlie would live with Kyle and Wes during school time and with her dad and stepmum during the holidays. The three siblings get along well and share their house with a menagerie of animals that Kyle has adopted.

‘Honestly’ Kyle thought to himself ‘who’s smart idea was it to call it a tie when it won’t even tie!’ The strip of cloth around his neck once again failed to knot, and for the time being he let it have its way. Instead Kyle started to squirrel around the boxes of clothes he’d yet to unpack in search of his business jacket. ‘Now listen up!’ he called out to his “projects”. ‘We are meeting our new employers today, and that means we all need to be on our best behaviour. I’m looking at you Matilda.’

Matilda, his pet Koala, promptly flipped him off.

‘None of that’ he tutted. ‘We’re in England now girl and we’ve got to behave properly. The poms aren’t going think you’re cute when you do that.’ Matilda huffed quietly and climbed further up the curtains. Kyle rolled his eyes. Drama Queen. He turned to Harry, his huntsman. The spider and he would be giving their “bugged bug” demonstration today in front of MI6, Kyle just hoped that their endeavours would be more successful than they had been with ASIS.

“Just do it like we practised mate, you’ll be fine” Kyle reassured Harry as he gently picked him up and deposited him in his carrier. Harry didn’t reply but Kyle was far too used to that to be bothered.
Eventually he did manage to knot his tie, although it was a little crooked, and was therefore ready to make an appearance to the outside world. He collected Matilda, (she hung off his shoulders looking remarkably like an animal themed backpack) picked up Harry (he stayed in his carrier) and walked outside...

Straight into a puddle.

Kyle swore under his breath when the icy water hit his toes. Looking down he saw that there was one vital flaw in his ensemble, he was still wearing his thongs ‘flip-flops’ he mentally corrected himself. With a sigh he turned around and went back inside to find out where his business shoes were, and if they were clean.

Business shoes. At what point in his life had he started worrying about business shoes? Certainly not when he was kid. Back then he had gone barefoot just about everywhere, his feet tough and leathered from constant contact with the ground. He certainly couldn’t go about like that nowadays. ‘Whose smart idea was it to put humans in shoes?’ Kyle thought to himself ‘the rest of the animal kingdom seems to manage without.’