Antonio Fernández Carriedo || Spain

[Deleted]

Antonio Fernández Carriedo Sunshine, glory, happiness, and hope is a front in this world, but it's something everyone has to believe in. Even if you're naïve or you've fought wars, whether you dance in the rain or mourn in it, every human needs hope. It's the only way we know to survive.

CODE NAME: the Runaway Dreamer

Male

25

Bisexual

Spain

Chef; Broker

Broker

Physical

180 cm

165 kg

Brown, tousled

Olive Green

Lightly Tanned

Slim

Personal

Happy-go-lucky has always been the way people have described Antonio. And for the most part, that has remained true. Despite some scrapes and bruises from his past, Antonio always has a smile on and is always cheerful and charismatic. Antonio is generally optimistic, always trying to look on the brighter side of things. Some may call him naive and scoff at his antics, but Antonio truly believes that the only way to keep going is to keep hoping. This optimistic outlook he has on life is both a curse and a blessing--it helps Antonio finish things that others might deem impossible but it also means that Antonio takes on truly impossible tasks and feels immense guilt when they aren't accomplished, often more than any other party involved. Antonio isn't completely naive. He's gone through some pretty harsh times in his life and he knows nothing's perfect. But even despite all of that, he can't help but keep hoping. After all, if you stop hoping, what else do you have to keep yourself going? Antonio rarely appears to be anything other than happy. One of the few times where he does is when he gets drunk. Spending so much time cooping his negative emotions up, when Antonio's had a few shots, he can become terrifying in a drunken state. Those who know him would avoid giving him more than a few glasses of wine. When he drinks a little, he gets sentimental and perhaps somewhat flirtatious (though he also acts that way naturally). When he drinks too much, Antonio can become the complete opposite of who he usually appears to be. He gets angered a lot easier and can be so ferocious that he becomes scared of himself. Hatred doesn't come easily to Antonio and he has difficulty holding grudges. However, if someone seriously pisses him off, he can act bitter towards them for a long time. Most of the time though, Antonio gets along with others fairly well. When Antonio falls in love, he literally falls in love, often forgetting himself in the process. Sadly, that happens rather easily. Not just with people, but with hobbies, with food, and a number of other things. Each new hobby is an excitement for him and he can't really get enough of it. He'll spend hours musing over it, often forgetting to eat or sleep in the process. With people, Antonio is a mixture of shy and unbelievably loving. He wants to care for them as much as possible but simultaneously fears he is coming on too strongly and may hold back a little as a result. He gives hugs very openly and freely. Time is Antonio's greatest enemy. His passion for what he does often means that he won't stop at anything until it's perfect. Deadline? Screw the deadline, the masterpiece isn't complete yet. Bomb ticking away? Get someone else to disable it, he's too busy perfecting his recipes. When Antonio, this caused a lot of trouble for his teachers who often complained that Antonio handed work in late without excuses. His reasoning was simply that he wouldn't turn in anything that wasn't "good." Antonio spends a great deal more time looking towards the future than the past, being an incurable idealist. Antonio is very stubborn in this regard, liking things his own way in his own time. Antonio can't be rushed, but if you give him enough time, he is sure to produce something brilliant. Long-term commitment is sometimes an issue of Antonio's. Passion burns fast and strong, but only for a while after all. Antonio's had so many discarded dreams that if he took the time to count them, even he might become disappointed in himself. Antonio tends to talk a little too fast when he gets nervous, stumbling over his words and laughing and repeating the whole story over again. Interestingly, people tend to find this trait rather amusing and endearing, making Antonio a very approachable person. People also tend to talk a little too much to him as he has a tendency to make people feel very comfortable in most situations. His charisma and natural curiosity also added to the reasons why he was able to make it as a broker. Antonio has a tendency to feel guilty over things that have nothing to do with him. When people change, he feels personally responsible and is often unable to detach himself from them. At seemingly random times, Antonio can become rather reckless and impulsive. He thinks of this as more of a benefit than a detriment--he takes risks others aren't willing to take and so far, they've paid off. He always did believe in living life fully after all, and to do that you really can't hold back. Despite Antonio's "other job", which he is ashamed of, Antonio is really a very good person overall. He's extremely supportive of others and holds high moral standards. Really, if he could, he wouldn't be a broker at all, but he needs the money. If he learned anything as a child, it was that sometimes you have to do what you have to do. He's seen quite a few terrible things including backstabbing and betrayal from supposed friends during his time as a broker, but what can he do? It earns him money. Maybe someday he'll earn enough to zip his mouth and make an honest living. ...There is one thing though. Antonio cares for people, he truly does. And he'll lie to protect them. Absolutely yes. Despite the fact that he's loving, Antonio isn't very trusting and often covers up his lies with laughter and jokes.

Likes

Dislikes

Food: Always a necessity. The way to a anyone's heart is through their stomach after all. Interestingly, Antonio much prefers to feed you than to be fed, he always says that cooking fills his stomach. He likes anything to do with Spanish cuisine and has a deep appreciation for seafood. Though he will never admit it, he also does have a secret love for crepes. Dogs: Antonio adores dogs, especially Labradors. Their exuberance and desire for attention matches his and he would love to own one. Unfortunately, his apartment is too small to accommodate a dog, meaning that Antonio will just have to deal with playing with them in the park from time to time. Churros: While Antonio generally prefers savory food over sweets, he has an unconquerable love of churros. He always has some available at his cart and it's always his favorite food item to sell. Occasionally he gives them out freely when he has too many to prevent himself from overstuffing himself. Dancing and Singing: Dancing and singing are both activities that Antonio takes much pleasure in. When Antonio was known as Tony Hérnandez, he spent most of his nights after bull-fighitng dancing on the plaza. He even won one of the small local dance competitions. Nowadays, Antonio sings more than he dances and has penned a few songs (though he'd never dream of showing them to anyone). Soccer: Antonio loves soccer. While he was in high school, it was his favorite sport and fairly cheap compared to other sports that his peers played. Antonio was one of the best players in his high school at the time. He was going to continue playing the sport in college and it was one of the reasons why he was accepted, however after his mother's death he discontinued the sport. Nowadays, Antonio rarely plays soccer except for maybe once or twice a month when he meets up with a couple of friends. Guitar: Antonio adores his guitar. It's one of the few things that keeps him company on rainy nights when he's alone and has closed shop early. He's extremely talented with the instrument and isn't shy to perform with it.

English Cuisine: Antonio actually doesn't believe that English cuisine is a thing. That's one of the reasons why Antonio goes around delivering the poor English people to salvation from their tasteless food. Rain: Antonio's used to there always being sunshine. Not necessarily happiness, but sunshine, certainly. The rain that occasionally consumes England really annoys him and brings down his mood. Fog: Another thing that depresses him. Honestly, sometimes Antonio wonders why he chose London out of all places to go to. Antonio will admit though, that in the mountains, fog is a beautiful thing. In London? Not quite so much. Rats: One of a chef's worst nightmares. Antonio absolutely detests the creatures. If he finds even one in his house, he will proceed to exterminate it while swearing in Spanish. If he sees one in a restaurant, he won't make many remarks but may end up critiquing the restaurant harshly. Centipedes: They creep him out. Especially the ones you find in your house with the long antennae and creepy long legs. Troubling Others: Antonio always likes helping other people, whether it's cooking them food or listening to their problems or helping them decorate their house. He has a certain degree of pride though, that prevents him from asking help from others. He doesn't like to be a burden and often makes decisions based around that desire.

Dreams

Fears

Travel: One of the things that Antonio craves above all else. When he was young, Antonio's mother bought him a book called "100 Places to Go." Ever since then, Antonio discovered a passion for discovering new places. It was always his dream to discover somewhere new. Unfortunately, after the divorce, Antonio's mother was left with very little money and travel was completely out of the question. When Antonio entered his teenage years, travel became almost an obsession for him, a way to "get out of this place." He studied English as well as he could till he was basically fluent in order to travel. His Sister: Antonio didn't even know he had a sister until he was thirteen and a school project told him to go and research his family. Looking through old photographs, he saw his identical twin in one, just one picture. A little rooting provided the rest of the information. Nowadays, Antonio just wants to know who she is. Part of him is afraid that he won't be good enough for her, but the other part just wants to see her, even if it's just once. Family: The only family Antonio ever knew was his mother and she passed away when he was eighteen. Antonio longs for the warmth and happiness he sees so often in other families, perhaps more than anything else. Love: Antonio is a loving person who sometimes has commitment issues. He wants to be loved for a long, long time, but he can't seem to stick around long enough for that to happen. He wants children and a big house and travel and a dog and a yard, but it's one of his many dreams that has faded into the background. International Restaurateur: Antonio would love to travel the world and he would love to cook and become an international restaurateur. Unfortunately, Antonio doesn't have the money or resources to even make an attempt at becoming a great chef like he aspires to be.

Losing a Loved One: Antonio's lost just about everyone already. He doesn't want to lose anyone else. This is one of the main reasons why Antonio can't seem to fit into a committed relationship. Dying without Fulfilling a Dream: Antonio's sacrificed a lot to be where he is today and he's given up on a lot of dreams that when he was younger, consumed him every day. He dreads the possibility that he could die without fulfilling at least one of those dreams. Depression: Antonio doesn't want to become broken like his mother and much of his actions are in response towards that. He simply doesn't let himself become that way because he fears what may result from that. That's partially why he works so hard to stay so happy all the time. Unfortunately that means he furiously denies any negative emotions he may feel which may not necessarily be a good thing. He fears that if he becomes too depressed, he may commit certain regrettable actions. He also fears that he may actually be depressed but his strong inclination to appear happy is currently suppressing those feelings.

Background

Antonio was born into a family that quickly disintegrated. Born as the other twin of a sister he never knew he had, Antonio's parents divorced a few months after he was born. For the first ten years of his life, Antonio's mother lied to him, saying that his father had died in a car crash. Finally, she confessed to him, half-drunk, that his father was well and alive and they had simply been divorced. When Antonio asked why she'd lied, his mother said that it was because she wanted Antonio to believe that his father had been a man that he should be proud of. The next day, she apologized to Antonio and told him to disregard whatever she'd told him. Antonio gave her a bright smile and told her that he'd been asleep and hadn't heard anything. He turned away with tears in his eyes. The next time he discovered yet another lie uttered by his mother, he was thirteen and found his sister in a picture inside a dusty photo album. Knowing that he had two perfectly healthy family members out there just beyond his reach, Antonio felt betrayed. He didn't tell his mother. For a while, Antonio searched for his father and sister fruitlessly before he eventually allowed that dream to fade. So Antonio walked into his teen years, bright-faced but not necessarily bright-eyed. From a young age, Antonio had been captivated by the prospect of travel. His walls were pinned up with images of different cities all over the world that he wanted to visit: Rome, Paris, New York, Beijing, Tokyo...the list went on and on. Egypt, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Brazil...it was all Antonio could dream about since he was a child. As he grew older, it became more of a "get out of this hole" mentality, but it spurred him on to get good grades and study English as well as a few other languages on the side as much as possible. He wanted to run away, run away to this fantasy dream of his where he could be happy all the time without having to pretend. Antonio's biggest dream for a while was to become a diplomat and be able to travel everywhere free of cost. That faded with time as Antonio wrapped up his high school career and began his preparations for college. He tossed up his cap and in that moment, Antonio felt invincible. All his dreams were coming true. He hugged his mother at the graduation and cried his heart out as the choir sang a rendition of "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. He was so happy. He was heading off to college. His family, his mother and him that is, was happy. He had a loving girlfriend (they broke up a few days later because they figured that a long-distance relationship was implausible), he had a great group of friends, what could go wrong? Two months into his freshman year at college, his mother overdosed and killed herself. Antonio and his mother had always been fairly close. She wasn't much for speaking, but she always listened to Antonio talk about his day and would squeeze his hand when he had received a bad grade on his essay. Every weeknight, he cooked dinner for the two of them and she made breakfast. Every Saturday, she would make him a nice home meal. And when Antonio graduated, she cried tears of joy and murmured over and over, "mi hijo, mi hijo..." However, as Antonio went through high school, his mother deteriorated. She worked hard to keep the family in shape after the divorce and it was taking a toll on her health. As his graduation date neared, she began to speak less and less often, withdrawing into a cocoon she had created for herself. In the last few months before he went to college, she secretly began buying anti-depressant drugs to keep herself alive. When Antonio had moved out, his mother had lost all reason to live. She was so tired, so tired of being sad and down and... When Antonio received the news, he was shocked. He hadn't known and guilt swept over him. He cried once, for a full ten minutes, sobbing into his pillow case and screaming his mother's name. Why had she abandoned him? Their life had been so full of hope. He was going to save her from this hellhole, he was going to bring her to Paris where they would dine outside on a beautiful patio every day, where they would sip wine and where she could be as lively and happy as Antonio was. He would get a dog to be her companion, he would buy birthday cakes they could never afford, the blue one that she always stared at. He would be the man that his father, as he envisioned, had failed to be for her. And that was all gone. Afterwards, he stood up, tossed his pillowcase into the laundry, packed up his books and the few items that he treasured, and the next day, Antonio left. He would leave, he had decided, to a place far, far away. He decided right then and there that he would never cry and would always smile. When he came back, he would be different. He would be better. ...That is, if he ever got the courage to come back. For the next six months, Antonio Férnandez Carriedo disappeared. Well, not truly. He became Tony Hérnandez instead, a torero or matador as some people called him. It was a reckless move on Antonio's part, but it paid off and the victories he scored in the ring eventually brought him enough funds to buy a ticket out of Spain. Originally, Antonio wanted to head to Paris. However, the thought of heading to France without his mother made him feel uneasy inside. Instead, Antonio bought a ticket to London. He didn't have a plan, he just wanted to leave. When Antonio arrived in London, things didn't become all that much better. Without a college degree, Antonio couldn't get a decent job. Without a resumé or recommendations, Antonio couldn't get into college. He had no connections from his family after all. And it appeared that England wasn't quite as big on bulls as Spain... Working a few odd jobs that didn't require all that much experience, Antonio managed to apply for culinary school. He'd finally come to a conclusion. The only way he could keep going was if he had something to keep going for. And all that was left was cooking. It was tough. Antonio was a fine student, but he had never cooked different cuisine. He worked hard, he studied late, and he spent a great deal of time working random jobs for random people. He never got attached and all he could think in his mind was why he was here and where he was heading. But being a student was tough. Antonio didn't have a lot of money and every month, student debts loomed over him. Had he not been in debt, Antonio may have earned enough to afford a decent apartment and a decent home. But however much he earned, his debt still soared higher. It was then that it occurred to him. Antonio had heard a few things, going to shady places to do work, spending time with certain rich kids that may or may not have been in his college classes. Oh, Antonio knew things alright. And surely those were worth something... All he had to do was find the highest bidder. It was a struggle at first. Antonio was ashamed of his "other job." He had never compromised his morals on such a large scale. He didn't know what was being done with this information. Antonio knew how to run away and knew how to get away. He was a cart owner for goodness sakes. He wasn't grounded or rooted anywhere. He didn't think about it, he couldn't think about it or else he'd go crazy. It is, Antonio convinces himself every night, the only way to survive. Antonio didn't want to end up broken. After he finished two years at culinary school, Antonio decided that it was time he headed into the real world. He figured that finally, he'd be able to get away from all of this broker nonsense. But the culinary world is a tough one if you lack connections. Despite a glowing letter of recommendation, Antonio had a tough time finding a job. The economy, after all, wasn't at its finest. But Antonio found one at a local Spanish restaurant. It was a nice Spanish restaurant, Antonio had to admit. But his desire to leave, his desire to travel had been so deeply rooted in him by then that he couldn't quite bear to stay. And despite the moderate wages that he was paid, all Antonio wanted was more. He was ashamed of his desire to leave, especially with the friends he had formed along the way, but he wanted to so much, so unbelievably much. And there was only one real way to do that... Antonio sells to the highest bidder for information. He has no allegiances, no alliances. He's secretive and he's charismatic. He's not proud of who he is and that is why he's still alive. He doesn't really believe in his dreams anymore, he can't really afford to. He's always smiling, though he wakes up feeling just a little broken. Maybe it's the fog. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's the fact that Antonio is still running, not from his past but his present, from the truth, from who he fears he may be becoming.

Role-Play Sample

It had been a long day. Tearing off his chef's uniform, Antonio flopped down on the same couch he'd owned for the past five years or so in the same apartment in the same building in the same town. He groaned and closed his eyes. It wasn't like Antonio hated London, he just...hated London. Okay. Untrue. Unfair. Antonio liked London well enough, it was just that after five years, he'd expected more. He'd expected to be at least the sous chef of some great restaurant, traveling the world. Sure, he was young and there were plenty of other experienced chefs out there, but Antonio liked to dream and that was the sort of person he was. He opened one of his eyes to take a peek at the overflowing laundry basket in the corner. Pulling himself up, Antonio walked over to the tiny fridge and grabbed a beer. Popping the cap off, Antonio chugged. Antonio wandered back to the couch and switched on the television. Oh, it was the weather report lady. Usually Antonio cared enough to watch the weather report (for the weather? well that's what he said), but today he was tired. And tomorrow, like every day, was an early day. When was Sunday again? Gripping his laundry basket, Antonio made his way to the laundry room. Lifting the lid, he dumped most of his laundry into the washing machine. Blues, blacks, whites, reds... It didn't really matter to Antonio. These shirts had been with him for years. If they hadn't blended together then, they weren't about to now. Plus, it cost more to do two loads of laundry. The machine whirred to life as Antonio closed the lid. Picking up his beer again, he wandered to his room. It was his favorite part of the house, the only part he really kept clean. After all, nobody cares about your living room if you don't have friends or family. No one cares about your kitchen if you don't consistently cook and eat there. And nobody cares about your bathroom unless they really need to take a piss. So yeah, his bedroom was his favorite room. When Antonio had first rented this apartment, it was because of the view. It had a beautiful view of the Thames River. Now, the Thames is not a gorgeous river. But when Antonio was a little more full of hope, it was the most beautiful river he had ever seen. Now though, Antonio walked right past the view. His shades were often drawn, especially at night. He flopped onto the bed and drank from his beer again. Pictures. Antonio's room was covered with pictures. Most nights, he didn't notice them. They were faded cut outs from magazines--the Eiffel Tower, Yosemite, the Niagara Falls, the Great Pyramid, the Great Barrier Reef, the Great Wall, the list went on and on. Antonio could afford actual posters now, but who wanted those? There was something special about old pictures... There was one black and white photo. It was the only photo that Antonio had taken with this mother. He looked so happy. All those places, and the one place he still considered home. To many, they would've caused a feeling of melancholy, a feeling of distress. And certainly, they affected Antonio that way as well. But that wasn't all. As crazy as it sounded, it also gave him a little bit of hope. Those memories, those hopes, those dreams...he wasn't going to give up on them just yet. Beer in hand, Antonio smiled fondly at those pictures on the wall. Perhaps they had been better days, but better days had to be coming. They just had to.

OOC Information

Leia

PM. Mona has emergency info.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

I may not be the prettiest girl or most handsome guy, but hey, I'm the only one talking to you.

made by CAPTAIN of BACK TO NEVERLAND

[Joselle]

APPROVED

Welcome to TND. Your application has been accepted. Love the app and the detail. It's exciting to see a Spain rper, and personally, I haven't had the chance to really rp with a male Spain before. I really hope you can come out and totally do cute things as Spain and everything. That'd be so exciting for me to see an active Spain <3 And of course... NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION.  The name is Férnandez Carriedo. Antonio Férnandez Carriedo

made by CAPTAIN of BACK TO NEVERLAND