Emma Aurora Jónsdóttir || Nyo!Iceland

[Emma/Emil Jónsdóttir]

Emma/Emil Aurora Jónsdóttir As a rule of thumb, Emma is comfortable enough to be addressed as a girl. She will be a boy when she wants to be. When she is a boy, he ought to be recognized as one. He'd prefer you to not confuse him as a girl. Feel free to call Emma/Emil 'Rory' when you are not sure.

CODE NAME: Snowflake

Genderfluid

19

Pansexual

Icelandic

Emergency dispatcher/Nursing student

Independent

Physical

203.2cm

78kg

Stark blonde

Blue-violet

Pale

Average; toned

Personal

Here is Emma. Emma is a 'she', the one with a white bow affixed on her long hair. Then there's Emil, the boy, and he has short hair--he is Emma, who decided to want to be a boy for the day. They both have this expression that strikes the phrase: I am confused by a thing and I'm irritated by the thing. To Emma, the concept of gender oscillates back and forth, varying by the whimsy of the day.  Most of the prevailing traits were developed before Emma decided to want to be a male as well. Despite the great quality of it, her upbringing and environment somehow produced this moody creature. She can appear uneasy, tense, and flustered all at once. Often times her voice is flat, soft-spoken and low as if she's muttering things out of annoyance. She also distances herself by being in the background, and includes herself by interrupting situations with candid wisecrack statements. These verbal cues showcase her displeasure in social interaction, but it doesn't always mean she is irritated. Whenever she feels to display anything other than apathy, Emma will sound more interested and attune to the conversation. However her voice will remain soft and wavering, unwilling to overstep any boundaries she had set herself into. Emma may appear like an ice-queen with her frigid stare, pursed lipped half-frown, and stark white hair, the constant rosy flush on her cheeks gives away her inner sensitivity. Meaning, she is much more of an emotional than she lets out. As mentioned earlier, Emma chooses to feel apathy, and it is all a measure of the moment's restraint. This chosen languid disposition is only to mask her outstanding awkwardness. Unfortunately, a simple greeting or a pat on the back can easily shatter her disposition. Depending on the degree of interaction, Emma can be reduced to stumbling over her words, so much that she can get frustrated enough to divert her gaze while speaking. When she's in this state, eye-contact comes with fervid blushing and sweaty palms. It's even worse when she imagines what kind of judging she is receiving, which can overwhelm her to becoming a glob of emotions. When she does have the courage to rip apart the people-to-mentality barrier, Emma loses her filter and reluctance. She'll be guilty of reckless actions, decisions, and swift-speaking words that stem from her passion and beliefs. Her 'true' self belies her appearance in every stitch. Emma is a deep-rooted dreamer who puts her mind and heart in the things she does. When ignited, her coldness will crack to the sound of her emotions. Especially when she feels that her independence is constricted, she'll be very grumpy and volatile around offenders. With enough care and time, Emma will either adapt or continue to rebel whatever opposing pressure she gets. She knows that she doesn't fare well during conflict because her actions can be considered childish. Her ire can be so bad that she will have to take her mind off of it by doing something physical, such as binging on exercise and adrenaline hoarding on sports. Literally, she will have to step away and propel all of that energy into something physical in order to get over it. After all this time, she hasn't made the step to correct her issues but is unaware that her lack of realizing is the wedge between her problem and solution. That is why she is stuck, wondering why she still feels like she is a helpless child. It is not fair to say that Emma is a childish person overall. A 'child' to her is someone who is dependent and unable to do anything without assistance. Because Emma had faced failures so often, she is tired of being hoisted around whenever she lands in a pitfall. Her constructed vigil of independence makes her want to become everything but that description. The problem is, Emma just has trouble delivering or conveying what she means in words. She gets tongue-tied, her mouth running on with knots and such, which is a main contributor to why she feels like she lacks a voice--therefore making her feel dependent to those who understand her jumbled emotions. She hates to feel like a burden, and escaping that feeling is normally the primary motivation to her actions. Often times, it gets her in some kind of trouble. Also notable to mention is that she fails a lot. Emma's nickname is 'loser', and it puts her to shame. Sticks and stones of shortcomings build her life. The hearth is large enough to sustain one good thing, and it is the flare of her determination. Emma is strong-willed and so she doesn't feel sorry about succeeding. She's unapologetic when it comes to making positive strides, even when it comes at the cost of other things around her. When she has a goal, she'll find as many possible ways to get there to satisfy her dreamer's heart. And such a heart is so delicate as well. Emma is sensitive and has her own quiet sweetness. Her sense of virtues comes with embarrassment, as if she doesn't want the other person to believe that she can do kind things genuinely. Emma's kindness is also silent along with her friendliness. She prefers to express these good traits through small, subtle, and almost unnoticeable actions. What usually throws people off is her method of showing kindness, which is sometimes accompanied by the apparent lack of interest. Emma hides her emotions well to establish that "I am a cool adult" persona, but she will always mean well on the inside. When she develops a bond, Emma will be a strong and loyal friend, albeit she will need some prodding to get here. Her friendliness is golden, and those rare smiles are warm. Once she lets you in her bubble, you'll be able to get a glimpse of the giant snow globe her mind lives in. While this same passion can be a catalyst to explosive results, it also does a lot of good for her. Most of all, her dreams give her hope that she is good at something, and that she is good for something. This passion gives her the motivation to explore beyond what was set for her, especially her gender. That is why she chose to flip-flop with her gender because her mind is set on this exploratory track to figure out more about her identity. Emma does feel a little jaded by her failures that bleach her languid expression, but the small smiles she sometimes reminds her of success. One of the greatest successes is being able to come out as a bigendered person. A note that because Emma is genderfluid, she can choose to act differently while she is a boy as a matter of expression. When Emma is presenting herself as a male, Emil feels more expressive and confident, as if he is where he wants to be. Emil appears more complacent, relaxed, and friendly when he decides to be a male. He also looks more curious and watchful for one thing: acceptance. When people treat him normally while he is a guy, it really relieves him. It shows him that he is doing something right, and that is passing. With this happier state of mind is a more confident speaking tone, and it's much less snappy than Emma's. Although Emil is more laid-back as a male, it's not hard for him to snap to being as tense as how he usually is as a female. (And vice versa)

Likes

Dislikes

Snowboarding: She ate shit while snowboarding so many times that she has become used to it. Emma used to be so scared, and err.... honestly, she still gets scared. Yet the exhilaration of converting that fear into speed is always a trip down the slope--that is, if she doesn't fall flat on the snow. Emma owes a lot of her mental courage to snowboarding. Being on the precipice of the mountain on a life-or-death mentality really made her realize a lot of things. Gender acceptance: Since it's the most 'radical' thing about ordinary Emma, she wants to feel comfortable in whichever skin she chooses. It's important for her to open up to others if they are okay with her choice. Personal freedom: Her independence is also another important thing to her. Emma believes that she can do things on her own, no matter how many times she has failed. Her resilience is her light that helps her navigate around the different alternative routes the same goal in case one fails. This is her freedom, and it is her freedom of being able to control which path she can take without outside interference.  Being around people: It's probably a huge contradiction, but Emma actually likes being crowds. She likes to be around life and parties, even though she won't really participate as its centerpiece. She wishes she can be as open about it, but she keeps her mirth in and enjoys the vividness from the sidelines.  Wildlife/nature: Growing up in the country has really made her appreciate nature. Sure, Emma thinks the city is cool with all of their bustling people, but none of it can be as pretty as nature.  Physical activity/Extreme sports: Physical activity is huge in Iceland, and of course, Emma is no stranger to being physically fit. She takes it up a notch by being extreme, and that includes bungee jumping, mountain rock climbing, paragliding, and sky diving. She's a huge adrenaline junky, yet she always acts so calm during these acts. High-pressure situations: These kinds of situations actually straighten out her jumbled trainwreck of a mind. Somehow the biochemistry kicks in and Emma is able to respond with efficiency and skill.  Chilly weather: The cold is nice. Emma loves snow. Anything is better than hot weather, quite honestly. It also gives her an excuse to keep her jacket out. She seldom ever lets anyone see her figure-flattering form because well... she doesn't want them to see (that she has a nice body I guess). Fires: Fires are warm and nice. It's also a way to bond with other people. Emma is not too sociable, but she can enjoy the fire with anyone in silence. Knitting: More of a hobby. She likes to knit little coats to donate them to animal shelters. It's a secret though, shh.  Sticking her head in refrigerators: When Emma is stuck and she needs to really, REALLY think, she will stick her head into a refrigerator. It clears her mind somehow. She has made all important decisions this way and yes, she has to have a refrigerator to decide on something life-changing. Also, it shows that head-in-fridge can usher out some brilliance from her too.

Feeling/being treated like a child: Emma prides herself as a person who can walk in grown-up shoes. She thinks she is old enough to fly on her own. Anyone who thinks otherwise will get a piece of her grumpiness.  Gender misconceptions: It's a general thing she does not like.  Being ordered around: She's too hot headed to be ordered around without proper explanations.  Debt collectors: Stinking sharks. Spam phone calls: That come form those stinking sharks. Rude people: Stinking sharks, the lot of them. Hot temperatures: She's from Iceland. Prolonged sunny weather: Iceland. Failed cooking: Emma really sucks at cooking and she's extremely messy/clumsy in the kitchen. Somehow her common sense goes out the window whenever she cooks. Her experimenting is deadly at worst.

Dreams

Fears

Enough funds for mother's surgery: She owes her mom (Johnana, who was assigned as male at birth) a lot of things. The reason why she's in England is because her parents gave up her mom's sex reassignment surgery funds. Emma loves her bearded mom, and is willing to do anything to see her happier. Independently paying off all debts: Emma's kind of stuck in a much with her debts all racked up in place. She has money that she's saving for the surgery, but that leaves her with no extra pocket money. All of her money goes to paying for tuition and for her rent. Life is hard for a college student... Travel the world by boat: Just a fancy dream from a kid who loves the sea. She also dreams about being a mermaid but--nineteen is a little too old to be dreaming about mermaids. Traveling around the world by sea sounds more feasible.

Really attractive people: She CANNOT be around attractive people without getting SUPER NERVOUS. She tries to act extra apathetic around attractive people, because she's scared that they are judging her, so she has to act like she doesn't care. Usually, she will never believe it if an attractive person calls her pretty. She will just. think it's not real. Unable to make progress: The more stuck she feels, the more anxious she'll get. This is a state she doesn't want to be in. Being a burden: This is a big motivator to a lump of her actions. Emma comes from a big family that had taken care of her for so long. Emma felt 'stuck' all of her life and was more than eager to bust out and do herself some good instead.  Unable to pay off loans: Debt is a horrible thing.

Background

Jón her father, is a large grizzly man who 215.9 cm and weighs a whooping 177 kg of muscle, beard, and laughter. Alberta was a svelte woman with a queenly smile, reigning at 167.64 cm with a weight that would be--oh you don't ask about a woman's weight! Anyway, these two were in more love than the folklores could write about. The love story between what looks like a giant and a wood nymph created a union, one that merged two families together and created a new one.  Because of the unusualness of their romance, they lived in a farm by a small and tight-knit community. With this freedom, they created eight children together. This oddball family had a bigger family than what is culturally usual, but they do not regret it. The lovebirds did things their own way and broke traditions for their idea of a flourishing family. For the first twelve years of their marriage, there were four strong sons and three stronger daughters. Strong-jawed, tall, and wild of spirit, all seven of these older children took off of father's masculinity. It was a household that revolved around farm work and a whole lot more playtime.  Alberta was surrounded by life and vigor that manifested in her family, and little did she know, she was conceiving another life in her womb. Emma, the eighth child was born during first snowfall. She grew up to be delicate like snow, calm, cautious, and watchful. Emma had the likeness and personality of her mother's, and the two were close and adoring. Young Emma's soft-spoken personality never really clashed much with her sibling's tendencies to be burly and tough; rather, the environment was all very supportive and accepting of each other's differences thanks to Alberta's discipline. The only time that came to a challenge was during sporting events, but that's a different matter. With all that said, Emma had a wonderful childhood with warm, toasty memories and laughter. Things shifted a little more when the kids grew older. School brought home a lot of different ideologies and perspectives.  One idea that planted in Emma from outside observations was that her voice was too deep--too deep for a girl. School was a different environment than home; although she was the black sheep at home, she was accepted by her family. At school, everyone thought she was weird. Whenever she spoke up, her voice would pass s a boy. By being in primary school, Emma noticed that the world outside of her home had different standards of being 'normal'. She got sucked right into it, and she tried to conform.  It came with a cost, however. Emma developed a personal restraint, and it carried over to her home life as well. Emma distanced herself from her family, and regressed from being a participator to a watcher. This rift made her feel ashamed to be out in public with all of them. Even more so, she started struggling with her identity. Emma looked like a girl but can sound like a boy. They called Emma a 'she', but when they can't see her, they referred to Emma as a 'he'. At this young age, Emma began to like the idea that she could be a boy. It was like her method of escape. In her dreams, she imagined that she could be and wear whatever she wanted. She fancied the idea that she could embody another identity, one that could be burly and masculine like her siblings.  The problem was, she was also embarrassed by them. Her fantasies floated in her mind, but they were restrained by what she believed to be the standards of society. Emma went on like this until her midteens. By this time, most of her siblings have already moved out, married, and got their own children. Essentially, the loudest and the most energetic of the bunch left the house to start their own lives. They only returned on weekend visits to help with the farm or during holidays. The remaining two older siblings were calmer by the age, and therefore never really bugged at Emma about her shut-in nature. Because her mother was always busy as a nurse, her father was the one who reached out to her the most, always making sure that she was feeling well each day. Thanks to her father's encouragement, Emma was able to push by her days and get over her frequent failures in class and losses in sports. Because of him, Emma reflected a lot about herself. Through him, she realized her dreams and understood the reality of the impossible and unsafe. However, she could not have the courage to tell him that she was struggling with her gender; she did not want to think she will disappoint the man who believes in her the most. Emma realized the peak of her conflict while she was snowboarding. There was a snowstorm while she was up there. By God, she thought she was going to die. Before this, Emma was dared by her siblings (who fully knew that she sucked at snowboarding) to take the line up the mountain on her own, and so she did. While the flurry of snowflakes whirred around, Emma had a long moment with a couple of strangers to think. This was a life-or-death situation. Emma told herself that if she lived, she was going to tell her parents that she wants to be a boy. And a girl. She wants to be both... if possible. If she lived. Emma adjusted her goggles and pushed herself onto the powdery surface of the snow. She was riding down at a howling velocity through the white clouds of limbo. With a lot of focus and determination, Emma was able to make it down without falling, thus surviving. Fulfilling her promise to herself, Emma waited a week or two before confessing to her dad about her wishes. Her father sent her to her mother, and Emma repeated the same wish.  It was a little awkward. Alberta and Jón didn't know how to really respond. Emma received the 'shoulder brush' treatment from them, which disappointed her. They allowed her to do what she wanted, but she didn't feel the acceptance in their tone. Things went by normally, with Emma being extra glum for about two weeks. The spark that struck the tinder was when her giant of a father went to Emma's room, sat on a tiny chair (which creaked and groaned under the weight), and folded his arms on his lap. He leaned forward, and abashedly told her that he had been thinking about his gender too for all of his life. Jón the big and burly giant man, they had called him, but he had also wanted to be a woman. He told Emma that she was the one who gave him the courage to realize that. This piece of news shocked Emma, but the tears that ensued brought them together in an embrace. Father and daughter--well, mother and daughter/son, the two of them announced their decision during a Christmas party, and they were received with confusion, but the holiday spirit ushered in laughter, love, and the eventual overwhelming uproar of support. The siblings all loved Jón, the father that wanted to be their mom. They also all loved their sister Emma, who also wanted to be their brother. When she cut her hair to make extensions out of them, Emma never felt more alleviated.  She was weird, yes, but at least she was loved. The years that followed were really good years. Alberta and Johanna even more a loving couple. Emma was getting used to the transition, and her first years were a little shaky. Yet, Emma kept her head high as a female and a male. She prided in her decision, and knew that she had support. When it came to college, Emma was stuck between staying in Iceland or going to England. The problem was... the family income was not big enough to send her abroad or to a big university. Emma felt like she was too old to stay at home and trouble her parents, especially the Icelandic economic turmoil took a hard hit to the farm. Emma took matters to her own hands by taking a loan. Her parents were dismayed by her independent act, but Emma assured that she'll be able to pay it off. They surprised her by giving her a large sum of money when she made her decision to go to England to study. Emma gratefully took it, gave one last farewell to her family members when the season came, and then left to start her own life. Emma was excited to be free, excited to do things her own way, and was overall just excited to be independent. Wrong. Apparently, her parents set her up with another caretaker. The Bondeviks, old family friends, she supposed. At the airport, she was received by this mysterious character named Lukas. Filthy rich too, which kind of freaked her out. During her really weird and fancy stay with him, Emma learned through a phone call to her brother that the sum of money she received was supposed to be for her mom's sex reassignment surgery. This made Emma feel guilt beyond comprehension, and then it became a stepping-stone towards a goal: Emma will have to find a way to save this money and make twice the amount for that surgery.  This fired up her 'independent gal' resolve, but Emma feels held back by this rich guy, Lukas, who makes her feel like a child. Yes, she can speak and understand English, yes she is capable and making her own food (even though she sucks at it), and she can figure out how to get around town. Emma didn't exactly picture her independence to involve someone babysitting her. The only reason why she's alright with him being around is because he actually saves her some money.... but her pride makes her dislike the idea that she has to rely on him for necessities. Therefore, Emma kept her mouth shut, stashed away her parents' money in a bank, and took out loans to pay for her university and housing. She refuses to ask for help, not when she owes so much to the people she loves. At the moment, Emma works as an emergency dispatcher and is a nursing student. She still carries a lot of her mother's compassion to help people, albeit not having the personality for it. Emma hopes to find the right connections and information so that her mom can get the right treatment she has been waiting for.

Role-Play Sample

In the stillness, the chilling tranquility of the room, he heard the faintest of whispers. It was of a magnitude so low, it could have passed as the sound of the wind. Although it was nearly inaudible, the sound was enough to disturb the muteness of the premises. Emil squinted as he looked around, his focus jumping from one suspected focal point to another to identify the source of that sound. But everything was so still, save for the flames of the fireplace. He wearily gave the room one last scan as he felt the rising suspicion of danger tingle on the surface of his skin. It felt as if he was Hansel or Gretel from that old story. A child that walked into a place that housed deceit. Instead of candy, this place offered the decadent sense of safety. The savory taste of a home. Then something moved. Frightened, Emil pressed himself against the wall against the photos. The frames made a thump against the way from the force. He stared at the figure that had darted over to the door. A person--it seemed--and presumably a 'he' due to his height. From where? He had not the slightest clue. It was as if this person was invisible in the room. A chair was propped up to lock the room, something he should've done in the beginning. Emil felt a small wave of relief, identifying this stranger as a potential ally. Well, it didn't help when he was overcome by the insanely realistic thought that the other could be a killer of some sort. Trusting others was not exactly his first instinctive action. When the other person turned around, Emil raised a brow at him expectantly, still quite against the wall. He relaxed a little bit though, for first impressions can impact the senses immensely. The stranger looked like no killer, at least that was the only assumption that could calm his nerves for the mean time. Then this person spoke. Ah, how he spoke so cordially with those violet eyes, so battered yet so suave and gentle. He reminded Emil of somebody--somebody he couldn't quite remember either. Amidst the unwavering quiet period after the last remark, Emil straightened himself up as he stared on. Confusion was nothing new. Well, Emil wasn't really known for diplomacy or tact with words. And so this could only be done in such a way that would be the easiest for both individuals. "Who are you?" He asked tersely, without falter or regret.

OOC Information

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made by CAPTAIN of BACK TO NEVERLAND

[Worldie]

APPROVED

Welcome to TND. Your application has been accepted. Eyy how nice for us to have a Nyo!Iceland. And congrats on being the first genderqueer character on here; you get a census column all to yourself (and thank you for sticking with me through all the phrasing revisal pfft). Anyway, Emmi sounds like such an adorable/awkward sweetheart. I like the way you contrast her inner space with her exterior, being actually very caring even though he pretends to be cool and apathetic. Also, extreme sports. Great hobby, even if it's a tad expensive. Additionally, I also love the idea of her family life! It sounds like a big, happy one and it's so sweet to read how supportive they are of one another. I hope he manages to pay back all those goshdarned loans, which as college students we all know are a pain in the ass. Just don't do anything too rash to get money! There are a lot of dangerous people in London who'll be happy to recruit you for a small price... The name is Emma. Emma Jónsdóttir.

made by CAPTAIN of BACK TO NEVERLAND